Simon Aylward
Bio
Undiscovered Irish Playwright and Poet - Seeker of eternal youth - Wannabe time traveller and believer in spiritual energies - Too many books to read, not enough time!
Achievements (1)
Stories (94)
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She Was The Girl of my Dreams!
I was 15 years old and it was the start of the school summer holidays. I had just been dumped by my first proper girlfriend for, in her words, being a bit too normal! So before our final parting, I quizzed her on what this meant exactly …
By Simon Aylward11 months ago in Humor
I Once Hid Under A Bands Tour Bus!
Back in the 80's, I was a huge heavy metal fan. My waist length hair flowed over a studded belt, and my denim jacket was covered in band patches lovingly sewn on by my mother. She was a flower power hippy in the 60's, so she was cool with it.
By Simon Aylward11 months ago in Confessions
Don’t React to Bad Days with Bad Habits!
Last week I was on top of the world! I received a Vocal 'Top Story' award and won a prize for my poetry. I also lost a few pounds from my winter cheese gut and even discovered some cat food that doesn’t give poor Bob the squits! (for American readers, I believe this is known as the Hershey squirts, which sounds even more disgusting!)
By Simon Aylward11 months ago in Motivation
Posh Person V Parking Machine
Before I start, I wish to make it clear that I’m not stereotyping posh people here. I’m sure most of you upper crust types are more than capable of negotiating electronic machinery. But for the sake of history this story must be told. So hold on to your fascinators!
By Simon Aylward12 months ago in Humor
My Children's first Profanities!
My son attempted his first swear at just four years old. He was watching a Power Rangers battle on my 50-inch flat-screen one morning, when he decided to join in. He did this by repeatedly bashing his action figure Tommy, off the evil Goldar’s head.
By Simon Aylward12 months ago in Humor
Life, Death and Onions. Top Story - March 2025.
The familiar blend of Victorian and modern architecture shifts my thoughts between past and present. Craning up at the glass tower where my wife lies in pain and uncertainty, I wonder what might come next in this continuing period drama. As I enter, the warm disinfectant air hits my nostrils and I drift back twenty years. My very first day as a hospital Porter …
By Simon Aylward12 months ago in Confessions
